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How Not to Struggle With Negative Experiences

Life is hard — way harder than anyone thought it would be. When you were younger, you dreamed of the world being your playground, and you were told that you could do anything and be anyone you wanted. Somehow, though, things haven’t been the smooth sailing you wanted them to be. The world seems to conspire against you, and the last thing you want to hear is “Cheer up!”

生活是很困难的——比任何人想象的更难。年轻时,你的梦想世界是游乐场,和你被告知你可以做任何事,和成为你想成为的任何人。不过,你不会一帆风顺的得到你想要的。世界似乎要加害你,你想听到的最后一句话就是“振作起来!”

Still, there are a couple things you might not notice about your situation. Next time you’re down, maybe the following will provide motivation:

然而,有几件事你可能不会注意到。当你情绪低落时时,也许以下信息将为你提供动机:

Not everything is bad.

不是一切都是不好的。

It’s a well accepted fact that bad news makes for sensational television ratings. The fact that something is negative catches a lot more attention than something positive in the same vein, and that’s because it’s easy to see things in a negative light. However, that should not distract you from the bigger picture.

这是一个广泛接受的事实那就是坏消息使得耸人听闻的电视收视率上升。一些负面的消息比积极的同样的东西吸引了更多的注意力,这就是为什么我们很容易看到事情消极的那一面。然而,那不会从更大的图景上分散你的注意力。

Resist the tunnel vision that results from constant negativity. Remember that even though there’s a lot of really nasty stuff going on, you’re surrounded by some pretty awesome stuff, as well.

持续的消极情绪会使视野狭窄。记住,即使真的有很多麻烦,你周围也都是一些很可怕的东西。

Other people aren’t you.

别人不是你。

No one likes being compared to another person. What makes it even worse, if that’s even possible, is when you do it to yourself.

没有人喜欢和另一个人比较。什么甚至使得它更糟糕,如果可能的话,是你在做你自己的时候。考研试题

Stop comparing yourself to another person and you will realize that you are way more awesome than you give yourself credit for.

不要再把自己和他人比较,你就会意识到你比自己想象得还要优秀。

Failure isn’t where the game stops.

失败并不在比赛停止时。

So you tried something new, but you didn’t follow through. Frustrated at yourself, you stop trying. As a result, your quality of life goes down immensely. You’ve given up on it, though, because you don’t see the point (since you failed the first time).

你尝试一些新的东西,但是你并没有跟随下去。在自己沮丧时,你停止尝试。结果,你的生活质量下降。你放弃了它,因为你看不到这一点(因为你第一次失败了)。

Now, you’re an adult. The things you are trying are much more complicated than 5-year-old you. However, your behaviour should not change in the slightest — when you fail at something, that’s just more information in your data bank. You know that method does not work, so try another one! And another one after that! Do this until you figure it out.

现在,你是一个成年人。你们处理的东西比5岁时复杂得多。然而,你的行为应该一点也没有改变,当你失败时,这只是使你的数据银行信息更多。你知道这个方法不起作用,所以尝试另一个!之后的另一个!这样做,直到你弄明白。

Giving up is for lesser beings, and you sure aren’t one of those.

放弃是懦弱的人做的事,你一定不是其中之一。

The past is way back there.

过去是回到这里的路。

There is not a human alive or dead that has never made a choice they regret. Whether it was something so small as a purchase you later decided was a bad idea, or something gargantuan, like the weird tryst you had with the foreign exchange student during Club Rush in sophomore year, it’s there. And you’re treating it like a big, swollen thumb.

没有一个活着或是死的人从未因为他们做的决定而后悔过。无论它是否是一件很小很小的事情就像你回头购买是一个坏主意,或庞大的东西,像你与外国交换学生在大二俱乐部里奇怪的幽会。你处理它像一个大的,肿胀的拇指。

Knock that off immediately and you will see just how much your life improves. The most important thing to take away from this idea is that your past is not what makes you who you are. The things that happened to you way back there are just that — in the past. You cannot change what happened to you, but you can definitely change how it affects you in the present and whether it will dictate who you are in the future.

立即敲开门你会看到你的生活改善了多少。远离这个理念的最重要的事情是过去不会决定你是谁。发生在你回来的路上的事情只有——在过去。你不能改变在你身上发生的事,但你绝对可以改变它现在是如何影响你的和将来是否会决定你是谁。

You are alive right now, and right now is all you get. You can’t go back, and the future is coming at its own pace. Don’t worry about the other two points — this one, right now, is the important one.

你现在还活着,现在都是你得到的。你不能回去,未来以它自己的速度到来。不要担心其他两点——这个在现在是重要的一个。

Everything that happens in your life is valuable.

发生在你的生活中的一切都是有价值的。

My personal life’s philosophy can be summed up in one sentence: No experience is a wasted one if it leads to a story you can tell.

我个人生活的理念可以总结为一句话：没有经验是一种浪费，如果它引出一个你可以讲的故事。

Did you get kicked out of your apartment and have to spend three weeks living in your car while you tried to find a new place? Story time. Did your bank account get stolen by a scammer and used to purchase a yacht? Story time. Did you lose your best friend to a petty squabble, and now you won’t even talk any more? Story bloody time! The stuff that seems bad now is the stuff you will tell stories about in the future.

你曾被赶出公寓,在你试图找到一个新地方前三个星期住在你的车里吗?故事时间。你的银行账户被骗子偷来购买游艇过吗?故事时间。你因为小争吵失去你最好的朋友,并且现在你们甚至不会说话了吗?血腥的故事时间!现在看起来糟糕的东西将来你也会像讲故事一样的说出来。

See your life through your own eyes.

通过自己的眼睛看到你的生活。

If you let someone else tell you your life is terrible, then you might as well believe them. Never, ever take that from another living being. Your life belongs to you, so you get to decide whether it’s good or not. You may not always get the exact things you are looking for when you come to the temple, but the temple welcomes you anyway, and you cannot deny its hospitality.

如果别人告诉你你的生活很糟糕,那么你不要相信他们。永远不要从另一个人那里得到。你的生活属于你,所以是好是坏由你来决定。当你来到圣殿，你并不总是得到你正在寻找的东西,但不管怎样寺庙欢迎你,你不能否认它的款待。

Of course, negative things happen. Of course, they are terrible and dreadful. But, maybe, those negative experiences are the real link between the happy and the sad.

当然,负面的事情也会发生。当然,他们是令人恐怖的和可怕的。但是,也许这些消极经历把快乐和悲伤真正的链接在一起。